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Overheard: Episode 8

THE “IN OFFICE AND ON BRAND” EDITION

*****

After an article was passed around mentioning the unearthing of a Mastodon skeleton in an unexpected place:

Me: did you know that the Mastodon is our state fossil?

Co-worker 1: …no? How do you know that?? You have a fun fact for everything. I feel like you must have a running notepad of facts that you want to keep track of.

Me: funny you should say that… I started a new book and it’s taking me forever to read because I keep pausing to take notes on all the interesting facts. *laughs and shows her my Google Keep app’s top sticky note*

*****

Not more than 20 minutes later in a separate meeting:

Co-worker 2: this word, ‘galvanize…’ this sounds like a word you would use.

Me: really?

Co-worker 2: yes, you always use these specific, long words. I’m going to start keeping a running doc of all the long words you use.

Me: oh my gosh, that’s too funny. But really, I do love using just the right word for just the right occasion. It’s so satisfying.

Co-worker 2: I’m sure! I bet you have a mental list of all your favorite words…

Me: funny you should say that…

Parenting Hack #7

With the 3 older bros at varied heights, with varied ability to accurately aim, and varied amounts of experience practicing… suffice it to say I offer an “at your own risk” warning if someone who stopped by unexpectedly asks to use the restroom. But even if we have advanced notice of company, it’s difficult to know that a recently cleaned bathroom will remain clean because… well, a lot can happen in a few moments without parental supervision in our home.

We were at a party at our neighbors’ house when the mom (of 3 boys) made an admission that I found beyond brilliant and therefore cite as my 7th parenting hack:

After you’ve cleaned the downstairs bathroom, lock the door from the outside so that your children – by process of elimination (no pun intended) – have to go upstairs and use their own bathroom instead. Just before guests arrive, unlock the downstairs bathroom door.

Hack #7: They Can’t Make a Mess of the Bathroom if They Can’t *GET* to the Bathroom.

Fancy Like Haiku

wine from a can and
poker with kix-based antes.
adulting is fun.

Beach Day Must-Haves

There are few ways I prefer to spend a day than slathered up in sunscreen, basking in the sun’s warmth, and watching my kids unintentionally accrue deceptively high volumes of sand in their hair and bathing suits as they happily play. Something about the tranquility of the water, the inability to multi-task with something “productive,” the resignation to the mess as such a small price to pay for so much joy…

Some people bring books, or beach chairs, or headphones to the beach; signs of quiet stillness. Others bring coolers filled with libations, equipment for a sand volleyball game, devices to photograph those sun-kissed moments; signs of social livelihood.

For this life stage, my beach scene must-haves:

1. Snacks: Twizzlers, classic potato chips, and an ice-cold Coke, poured over a massive, brightly colored [plastic] glass of ice (thank my grandma for this one — she drank Coke like this year-round, but this image will forever remind me of warm weather and vacations with her). Food pyramid be damned; there is nothing quite like junk food snacking while spending extended periods in the water.

2. A cute beach bag, even if I’m only just stepping a few feet from our patio. I secretly coveted these Peloton Mom cult-followed Bogg Bags, and these reclaimed sail bags, but fortunately my mom intercepted me before I over-spent and made me this darling mesh-bottomed bag featuring the Lake Michigan fan favorite and state stone, the Petoskey!

3. Sun coverage for the fairest skinned of us. Long-sleeved rash shirts for the older bros (dual purpose: element protection and less time spent literally wrestling my ticklish children into many more square inches of sunscreen application) and this comically large sun hat for C. At some point it dawned on me that this hat is a bit Handmaid’s-Tale-esque, but if that’s the cost of maximum coverage… praise be.

Related: time at the pool // speaking of Peloton moms…

Overheard in our Home: Episode 7

THE “LIFE WITH BOYS” EDITION

*****

At A’s 3 year well check:

Pediatrician: oh dear, look at all these bruises on you, A! Where did these all come from? *Pauses and, when he doesn’t answer, looks up at me expectantly*

Me (literally starts to laugh out loud): oh I’m sorry, do you actually think I can keep track of this information with four boys??

July 2022

*****

Closing in on 30 minutes of an attempted family photo shoot during which the boys went from various states of jumping to fighting to running around and dragging props across the studio floor:

Photographer: you know what, let’s just… let’s just embrace the motion. Dave, Kel, why don’t you stand in the middle and we’ll have the boys just… um, how about they run in a circle around you??

July 2022

*****

Walking over to a play date at a friend’s house:

Me: please make sure to mind your manners when you’re over there, okay, J? Share toys, take turns, and try to be extra nice to Weston’s little sister. Do you remember her name?

J: um… no.

Me: it’s Cameron. It’s her house, too, so please make sure to include her and be kind if she wants to play with you guys.

J: okay. So… wait. Is she his… little brother? Or big brother?

— July 2022, 7 years old

*****

As I was typing up this post, I received the following Google Opinion Rewards survey prompt. If there was a “1000% yes I have but TBH I have had better” option, I would have selected it from the drop-down menu.

Related: tell me you’re a boy mom without telling me you’re a boy mom // pronoun confusion

In it for the Right Reasons

We moved into our current home shortly after J was born. In the months that followed, we met the couple that lived two doors down from us, Julie and Joe. We became fast friends, bonding over our similar life stage, easy interactions, and — despite our seemingly collective adult maturity — our mutual enjoyment of vapid reality TV. On Mondays after putting our kids to bed, we would get together, turn on the Bachelor, talk through half of the scenes, and polish off a bottle of wine (or two) over the course of the show.

Unfortunately, Julie and Joe moved a few miles away just before the pandemic began. But fortunately, by this time we had already firmly established our friendship and a mutual understanding that no one seek or share spoilers once the next Bachelor/Bachelorette season began.

In recent years, we started a bet: during episode one, everyone picks their projected winner for the upcoming season. Loser buys dinner. It’s silly, but the text threads trash talking each other’s picks or lamenting one’s own pick blatantly self-sabotaging has been a way to keep the casual conversation virtually alive even during COVID times when we didn’t see much of each other.

All this to say, Julie lost the latest season, and made good on the bet to take us out to dinner. But because Julie does nothing halfway, the night out warrants its own entire post.

First: we went to a charming speakeasy-style basement bar and had dinner and a couple of drinks. Julie encouraged us to have more than one, as a matter of fact, to make the second part of our date extra effective.

We went to a “Pinspiration” site, which essentially involved us agonizing over creating an artistic vision for something meant to be super low-stakes, and then dancing around in a black-lit room splattering paint everywhere while listening to a 2000s throwback playlist. Suffice it to say, the extra drinks were indeed the right call.

The final spot on our tour-de-double-date was a bar that I would’ve sworn was a divey biker hangout (having never been there, of course), but evidently is a thriving, historical gem, known across Michigan for live music, drinks, and family friendly fare (so say Julie and Joe, who bring their kids for lunches).

We called it a night at about 10:30, after one of us unfortunately got an email that they had a last-minute scheduled 8AM C-level client call, and therefore we arranged for our DD (Julie’s dad) to pick us up and cart us all home.

2 observations from this night:

  1. If “quality time” is my love language, and Julie put that much thought into a “loser treats to dinner” proposition, it’s no wonder she is among my all-time favorite people.
  2. No matter how professional I may come across to clients or coworkers by virtue of work or title, no matter how adult I may seem or project to my children… it’s humbling to know that I am not so professional or adult that I can’t be found sitting in the backseat of my friend’s dad’s sedan, answering his questions about the night while feeling like a high schooler trying to get away with something.

Drive safe, everyone. And make some solid friends in your adult years. It’ll change your entire experience.

Ice Cream for Breakfast: the Reprise

Me, at 6:45am: A, what is all over your face?

A: um… it was ice cream, Mom.

Me: Oh. …did you make a mess?

A, sincerely and without shame: I did, Mom.

^Please note: soup ladle (his “scooper”) and remains of his ice cream cone. Kid commits to the experience, and you have to respect that.

Before anyone fret over my 3-year-old’s decidedly unhealthy breakfast this morning, please note in the background of the photo that he also helped himself to half a “clem” and, of course, an apple that he’ll surely come back to later.

Related: we have been here before // parenting hack: healthy snacks

Baby’s First, Mama’s Fourth

FIRST BORN


1st birthday falls on a Tuesday, has family birthday party the Saturday immediately preceding



Spends actual birth day with his parents




Has 1st sweets at his 1st birthday party


Is fully dressed for 1st cupcake experience



Receives a plethora of age-appropriate gifts


Has his favorite dinner: pork tenderloin and fruit


Designer candle atop smash cupcake


Celebrates his first year surrounded by people who love him


FOURTH BORN


1st birthday falls on a Saturday, has a joint family party with 2 of his brothers 1 month beforehand


Spends actual birthday in part at his grandparents as his parents + brothers attend the birthday party of friends


Has 1st sweets sometime around the 9 month mark because Dad likes to treat to doughnuts on Dad + lads days


Is stripped to diaper and bib for 1st cupcake


Receives almost nothing except token items after his parents request “no gifts” for the party


Has leftovers and bananas


Used designer candle atop smash cupcake


Celebrates his first year surrounded by people who love him… including 3 wonderful brothers