THE “LIFE WITH BOYS” EDITION

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At A’s 3 year well check:

Pediatrician: oh dear, look at all these bruises on you, A! Where did these all come from? *Pauses and, when he doesn’t answer, looks up at me expectantly*

Me (literally starts to laugh out loud): oh I’m sorry, do you actually think I can keep track of this information with four boys??

July 2022

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Closing in on 30 minutes of an attempted family photo shoot during which the boys went from various states of jumping to fighting to running around and dragging props across the studio floor:

Photographer: you know what, let’s just… let’s just embrace the motion. Dave, Kel, why don’t you stand in the middle and we’ll have the boys just… um, how about they run in a circle around you??

July 2022

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Walking over to a play date at a friend’s house:

Me: please make sure to mind your manners when you’re over there, okay, J? Share toys, take turns, and try to be extra nice to Weston’s little sister. Do you remember her name?

J: um… no.

Me: it’s Cameron. It’s her house, too, so please make sure to include her and be kind if she wants to play with you guys.

J: okay. So… wait. Is she his… little brother? Or big brother?

— July 2022, 7 years old

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As I was typing up this post, I received the following Google Opinion Rewards survey prompt. If there was a “1000% yes I have but TBH I have had better” option, I would have selected it from the drop-down menu.

Related: tell me you’re a boy mom without telling me you’re a boy mom // pronoun confusion