A few weeks ago, a friend invited me out to a Friday lunch. While we’ve known each other for the better part of a decade, our interactions have been largely centered around the goings-on of our first-born children who formed a fast and easy friendship during daycare. We sit by each other so we can tag-team scolding our sons for being noisy at the movies. We know each other’s in-laws because of how many backyard birthday parties we’ve attended. We have photos on our phones of our children as toddlers with their baby-teeth grins, and now at their Rec & Ed basketball practices.

So when she invited me out for an exceptionally rare 1:1 date, I blocked my calendar, thinking perhaps she had something to tell me.

Instead, we said our hellos, ordered a couple of Cokes, and she clumsily began:

“I don’t know how to start this without being kind of awkward, so I’m just going to start it. They always say, ‘check on your strong friends.’ I know we don’t talk that much about ourselves, but you are among the strongest women I know, so I just… I just wanted to check in on you.”

An open invitation to voice whatever may be troubling you, without sacrificing your sense of keeping it together?? How amazing is this?!

Filing this away in the “friendship pro tip” mental folder for use at a future date.

Related: the six forces that fuel friendship // when your friends arrange a reality-TV-worthy double date