Dave & I have a running document of the absurd or comical things said in the company of our kids (frankly, either by them or by us).

Some favorites from J:

*****

(Birthday included treats at school, water play, and a live musician, plus we picked J up early to go to the park’s splash pad/playground/beach AND had neighbors over for cake)
Gigi: happy birthday, J! What did you do today??
J: I got sunscreen in my eyes.
June 2019, 4 years old

*****

Me: don’t forget to wash your armpit.
J: yep, and my legpit. *Scrubbing behind his knee*
July 2020, 5 years old

*****

Me: Ohh, J. You’re so wonderful. I’m so glad you’re mine. I mean, I’m so glad I grew you. Haha! I mean, you grew yourself, but I provided the uterus. We make a pretty good team, you & I.
J (after a few seconds, thoughtfully): Although… you did grow a baby who likes to eat his own boogers.
March 2021, 5 years old

*****

(Walking to the bus stop)
J: pretend we’re strangers.
Me: okay. Hi, I’m Kel; what’s your name?
J: no, I mean, pretend we’re strangers who live in different houses but we’re best friends.
Me: oh, okay. Oh hey, J! How’s your morning going?? Haven’t seen you.
J: hi. (Pause) okay, now pretend we’re volcanoes.
April 2021, 5 years old

*****

Today’s addition:

Me: boys, this is the second mini-flashlight we’ve found tucked into C’s sleepers today already. Do not put things in his clothes.
J: that’s not a flashlight, Mom. Those are C’s boosters.
December 2021, 6 years old