Scientists begin research on a newly documented pediatric medical condition. Ailment is triggered by environmental shift — namely to the parent’s bed in the early morning hours.

Observable symptoms:

Child exhibits gravitational pull towards parent’s body, and then seems to spontaneously generate at least 8 additional elbows and knees which are used as unconscious weapons of assault.

While not thought to cause permanent damage to the child, there are strong early indicators that the resulting poor night’s sleep is indeed contagious to adults.