If I can get through my weekend grocery run in <45 minutes, it is a major coup.

To be clear, I have grown quite efficient in my list-making, organizing our week of meal ingredients and quantities by department. I also have no problem moving swiftly with a child (or two, or three) in tow, as I am seldom without at least one during errands. More than that, I can even do so while narrating all the grocery goings-on with said child(ren) — in a practice I picked up from my own mom — however non-conversant the child may still be.

No matter my prep, my process, and my years of practice, I simply can’t wrap up quickly. And the reason is simple: Steve the wine guy.

Steve the wine guy is not, strictly speaking, just a wine guy. Rather, he’s my grocery’s drink specialist (there’s probably a professional title for his role, but all I know for sure is that there’s a sign with his face and name on it near the alcohol section that suggests shoppers ask him if they have questions). When we first moved to this area, I went to this grocery seeking advice on a DIY-style wine pairing for a dinner menu I had planned for my sister’s bachelorette party. Steve was available, offered fantastic suggestions for the event, and a friendship was born.

Fast forward almost 6 years: he has seen my boys grow from being strapped in their infant car seats to tearing down the frozen food aisle towards the end cap featuring all the Hot Wheels we don’t need. He has helped carry bulky objects out to my car, has flagged other co-workers to give me a hand when he spotted me coming into the store with my hands full and in need of a cart, and he has happily alerted me to upcoming 20% off wine sales. He updates me on the Labradors he breeds, tells me if there are any litters of puppies on the way, and likes to point out that the food I occasionally open to entertain or satisfy a hungry child shopping with me (blueberries, baby carrots, bread) is often the same that he uses to treat his dogs.

I sometimes pseudo-complain to Dave about how long my grocery trips take, as if there’s nothing I could do to expedite them. But I think we both know the truth: I really love people and cultivating relationships with them and playing a small part in making someone else’s day a bit more sunny. Plus something about forging community in the places we’ll frequent seems like a fundamentally good investment to me.

So yes, I will almost always make a point to say hello to Steve the wine guy, even if he’s with another customer and as if we are bona fide friends. And I will probably always ask him how his dogs are doing when he swings by my cart to see if he can coax a smile out of my ever bashful toddler. And frankly, regardless of Steve, I’ve also gotten pretty chummy with the produce guy who teases that we nearly clean them out of broccolini when we visit, or the meat guy who likes to tell me stories about his grandsons when he hears me chatting with the boys while we wait, or the check-out clerk who has 2 cats and feels strongly about alternative solutions to declawing them (honestly couldn’t tell you now how I know that about her except that it involved a long wait for my balloons to be inflated).

And thus I will likely never make a “quick” grocery run.