It’s A’s 3rd birthday. It’s not yet lunchtime. So far he:

1. Woke his baby brother and then woke me tell me C was awake and crying.
2. Covertly ate 4 doughnuts and took a bite out of every remaining doughnut in the box we got to celebrate and share.
3. Let himself outside, left the door wide open, and did not respond to me shouting asking where he was as I came downstairs from my shower and was thrust into a panic.
4. Pooped on the playroom floor because he was “so busy building that long train track.”
5. Somehow turned one of the stove’s burners on, which I only realized when I noticed that the second floor smelled like gas.

In lieu of gifts, please send thoughts and prayers for his parents.

Happy birthday, little monster.