A was rifling through his bookshelf as we got ready for bed earlier this week. He self-selected one of the few Little Golden Books that I did not “lose” (…in the garbage…) years ago after deciding the others were unforgivably poorly written as narrative arcs go (sorry, Scuffy).

As we flipped through “My First Counting Book,” I read the poems, and he counted the objects. Two lambs. Six chicks. Eight fish. Easy rhymes, mostly aurally pleasing.

But then we got to ten, and it all came back to me. What is this poem?? What is the cadence? Where is the intonation? How does this belong in the same book as the fan favorite “Nine Geese”? These are not at all rhetorical questions. I challenge you to read this poem in a way that flows.

By line, the syllables are: 7 / 4 / 5 / 4 / 4 / 3 / 8 / 7. There are questions, and statements, and even an arbitrarily capitalized noun.

I would venture to say that I have read this poem at least 50 more times than all the others in the book because each time I speak it – and then re-speak it, and then try a new method, and even set a metronome recording up to try to force a rhythm – I cannot make it work.

If you can read this poem aloud and not sound absurdly clunky, please stop whatever you are doing and call me. This book is over 60 years old, meaning there are several generations of parents who have likely been equally dissatisfied by its ending, and we need to spread the word if there is an answer to this riddle.

Related: adult commentary on children’s books.