THE “MOM HAS EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL” EDITION

Dave was traveling for business recently, so I was single-momming and – proudly – made it to all morning bus stop drops with 4 x children dressed, changed, fed, limbs attached, and on time. On the other hand, the following statements were also made during the course of the week:

*****

O, happily skipping away from the bathroom in the final minute before we need to leave for school: the toilet is clogged, Mom! So you need to tell Dad!

4 years old

*****

O, solemnly from the backseat of the car, upon hearing the total of our McDonald’s order: wow. That’s a big number.

*****

Me: *increasingly testy, raising my voice to obtain answers to repeated questions as the boys talk over each other*

J, sincerely: Mom, do you need more sleep?

6 years old

***”*

Like I said. Totally under control.